100 Funny jokes in english for Kids and Adults

 

1. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

2. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
3. Why was the scarecrow outstanding in his field? Because he was outstanding in his field.
4. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
5. Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
6. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
7. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
8. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
9. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
10. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

11. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
12. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.
13. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
14. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
15. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
16. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
17. Why did the belt get arrested? It held up a pair of pants.
18. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
19. Why don’t skeletons ever trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
20. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

21. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be afoot.
22. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
23. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
24. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
25. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
26. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
27. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
28. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
29. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
30. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

31. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
32. What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.
33. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
34. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
35. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
36. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a shellfish.
37. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
38. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
39. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
40. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.

41. What do you call an alligator detective? An investigator.
42. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
43. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
44. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long.
45. Why was the broom late for work? It swept in.
46. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
47. What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison.
48. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
49. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
50. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

51. Why was the physics book sad? Because it had too many problems.
52. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
53. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
54. Why did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
55. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
56. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
57. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
58. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a shellfish.
59. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
60. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.

61. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
62. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
63. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
64. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
65. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
66. What’s blue and not heavy? Light blue.
67. What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite.
68. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
69. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
70. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

71. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
72. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
73. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
74. Why was the broom late for work? It swept in.
75. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
76. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
77. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
78. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a shellfish.
79. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.
80. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

81. Why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
82. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
83. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.
84. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
85. Why did the crab never share? Because he was a shellfish.
86. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
87. Why did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
88. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
89. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
90. Why did the physics book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

91. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but it let out a little wine.
92. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer for so long.
93. Why was the broom late for work? It swept in.
94. What’s blue and not heavy? Light blue.
95. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
96. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
97. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.
98. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
99. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
100. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.